


Human Error

by blod1tatws



Series: The Sherlock to my John [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Omegle Roleplay, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-29
Updated: 2014-05-29
Packaged: 2018-01-27 01:48:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1710536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blod1tatws/pseuds/blod1tatws
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>About 6 months ago is when I realised my feelings were not just some strange illness I may have gotten from an experiment. -SH</p>
            </blockquote>





	Human Error

**Author's Note:**

> This was a RP that happened on Omegle, which I really enjoyed being a part of. Sadly, I never got to know who the Sherlock to my John was. If it's you, please let me know so I can acknowledge your wonderful contribution. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it; a bit of fluff to brighten your day. Comments and/or kudos are not expected, but would be completely accepted with open arms if you did leave them.

I'm at the shops. You need anything? JW

 

Nitroglycerin. –SH

 

Not that kind of shop, Sherlock. JW

 

You haven't been going to the right kind, then. –SH

 

No, food is in the right kind. JW  
Fancy some noodles for tonight? JW

 

Not very hungry. Whatever you wish to make will be fine. –SH

 

You will it. JW  
*eat it. Damn. JW  
Texting and shopping clearly don't mix. JW

 

You texting whilst doing anything never mix. –SH

 

Are you implying that I'm technologically challenged? JW

 

Your password on your computer is JHWatson. -SH  
I'm not implying anything, I am stating the obvious. -SH

 

Well, it's easy for me to remember. JW  
And you're the man who didn't know how to work the DVD player. JW

 

DVD players are not a necessity. I don't watch movies. –SH

 

We can watch boxsets of great TV shows, though. JW  
Oh look, Breaking Bad is on offer at Tesco's. JW  
Might buy it. We'll watch it tonight. JW

 

It is as likely that I will watch it with you as it is that I will eat. -SH  
Meaning I am not doing either. –SH

 

You will do both. That's an order. JW

 

An order? –SH  
Is that so, Captain? –SH

 

Yes it is, Holmes. Or there will be punishment. JW

 

Punishment sounds more appealing than watching a boring American show. –SH

 

Not the kind of punishment I'm thinking... JW

 

Watching that show is punishment. –SH

 

How about watching a boxset of Friends? JW

 

Oh god. -SH  
Not again. -SH

 

Oh yes. Season 5, baby! JW

 

Your taste in television is terrible. –SH

 

Your tastes in shirts are terrible. JW

 

My shirts are impeccable. –SH

 

They're...clingy. JW

 

I've gained weight. -SH  
They used to fit much better, if not a little loose before you moved in. –SH

 

Because I feed you up. JW

 

Exactly. -SH  
You have no right to complain about the tightness of my shirts since you are what caused the problem. –SH

 

I'm not complaining too much... JW

 

Aren't you? –SH

 

No. I like that purple one. JW

 

It definitely wouldn't fit you. –SH

 

No shit, Sherlock! JW  
It suits you, that's all I'm saying. JW

 

Amusing, yet crude alliteration, John. -SH  
Right. –SH

 

You lube crude alliteration. JW  
Oh shit. I meant love. JW  
Damn auto-correct. JW

 

Freudian slip, John? -SH  
Right. -SH  
It's not the only thing I lube. -SH  
Oh, right, Love. You meant love. –SH

 

It was auto-correct. It's your fault anyway, you set it up! JW  
Woah...JW

 

You cannot blame me for you not knowing how to set up your own autocorrect. -SH  
Woah? It was a joke, John. You usually enjoy crude humour when Glenn says it. –SH

 

Oh. A joke. Cool. JW

 

Well, I do lubricate things. –SH

 

LIKE? JW

 

Many experiments cause for slick surfaces. –SH

 

Oh, right. Someone like you would use lube for those purposes. JW

 

The slide on my microscope. -SH  
Or my arse. -SH  
You know, normal things. –SH

 

Do I need to ask? Your arse, Sherlock? JW

 

Use your imagination. -SH  
I'm sure you already are. –SH

 

I never knew you...did those things. JW  
What are you doing, "cheating" on your work? JW

 

Very funny. –SH

 

Thank you. JW

 

You can be from time to time. -SH

 

I'll take that as a compliment. JW

 

My work and I have an open relationship lately. -SH

 

Wait. You're with someone now? JW

 

Not exactly. -SH

 

What do you mean? JW

 

I am not with anyone in the way I am sure you are envisioning. -SH

 

Oh. In any...romantic sense then? JW

 

No. -SH  
We are only friends. -SH

 

Oh. Have I met him? I assume it's a him. JW

 

You have met him, yes. -SH  
It doesn't matter, anyway, John. -SH  
He is very much not interested in me. -SH

 

You never know, stranger things have happened. JW  
Have you told him? JW

 

Of course not. -SH  
I couldn't. -SH  
He is far too important. -SH  
Telling him will ruin everything. -SH

 

I'm sure he'd understand. JW  
If you're such good friends. JW

 

Perhaps we should not talk about this any longer. -SH

 

Maybe I can help? JW  
You know, leave hints for this person. JW  
I'm your wingman, I want to see you happy! JW  
Or I could kick his arse, if that would help? JW

 

You would be helpful if you'd just leave it. -SH  
How would kicking his arse help in any way? -SH

 

He's making you unhappy. JW  
You're mopey. JW

 

He isn't. -SH  
I am not. -SH  
I am fine. -SH  
I have been fine, and will be fine. -SH

 

You're not fine. JW  
I know you. JW

 

I was not moping until you brought this up. -SH  
It is also quite impossible for you to kick his arse. -SH

 

I was in the Army, I can do worse than that. JW  
Well, you were moping silently then...JW  
You haven't been yourself in weeks. JW  
You even missed a great opportunity to insult Anderson yesterday. That's not like you. JW

 

It's nothing. -SH  
Aren't you coming home with food and a boring television show? -SH

 

Tell me. I'm your best friend. JW  
Can't find the milk. JW  
Plus there's a horrific line for the tills. I might be here a while. JW

 

John, believe me when I tell you there is nothing you can do. I have accepted that he can never be mine. I still do have my work. -SH

 

Everyone deserves love. JW

 

I don't. -SH

 

Yes you do, Sherlock.  
Don't you dare think otherwise! JW  
Is he so bad that you can't tell me who he is? JW 

 

He is not bad. He is the best man I have ever known. -SH

 

Then I'm sure he will understand if you explain to him. JW  
Plus, that rules out Anderson then ;) JW

 

And I am fine not having him, if he knowing about my annoying sentiment will make him leave, I would rather keep him as my friend. -SH  
Don't be disgusting, John. -SH  
You can't have serious thought I would ever want Anderson. -SH

 

That's what happens when you're being so mysterious. JW  
Is it Greg? JW

 

Who is Greg? -SH

 

Greg! Greg Lestrade! JW

 

No. -SH  
He is off limits. -SH  
Not that I would have thought of him that way. -SH  
He is more of a mother figure than anything. -SH

 

He's off limits? I thought he and his wife had separated? JW

 

Please stop trying to guess, John . -SH

 

Then tell me. JW  
It won't kill you. JW

 

I can't. -SH  
It may. -SH

 

Why? Does he have a gun? haha! JW

 

Well, he does. -SH

 

Haha, is it me? JW

 

[Delay] No. -SH

 

There was a minute gap between our texts. You never leave it that long... JW  
Sherlock? JW

 

No. -SH

 

Sherlock! JW

 

My phone turned itself off. The battery must be dying. -SH

 

Do you mean to say...that I..um. JW

 

No. -SH  
No, John. -SH  
No. -SH  
Stop it. -SH  
It's nothing. -SH

 

Oh my god. JW  
OH. JW

 

Please. -SH

 

I, um- JW

 

Right. -SH  
I understand. -SH  
I had asked you to not pry. -SH

 

I didn't think it could be-um, sorry, JW

 

You have barely a reason to apologize. -SH  
I am sorry, John. -SH

 

No. No. Don't apologise. JW  
I'm sorry, Sherlock. I've reacted like an imbecile. JW  
I- thank you. For being so honest. JW

 

I have not been very honest, John. -SH  
If I had been honest, I would have told you from the beginning instead of attempting to hide it throughout most of our conversation. -SH

 

The beginning? JW

 

When you first started asking about my possible romantic interest. -SH

 

Oh. So when did you start feeling this way? JW  
Shit, they've ran out of whisky. JW

 

About 6 months ago is when I realised my feelings were not just some strange illness I may have gotten from an experiment. -SH  
You wish to drink. -SH

 

6 months?! JW  
They have wine. JW

 

It's impossible to pinpoint exactly when I started to conduct this human error. -SH

 

A human error?! Is that what you call it? JW

 

It is an error. I shouldn't feel this way toward you. -SH  
You could never reciprocate. -SH

 

Sherlock, you can't-you don't know how I- JW

 

I just wish we can still remain friends. -SH  
You do not need to worry. It doesn't have to be any different. -SH

 

Friends... JW

 

I will never force myself upon you. -SH  
I understand how undesirable I am. -SH

 

You could get it out of your system, haha! JW  
Shit, that was a bad joke, sorry! JW

 

I would never take advantage of you. -SH  
I am sure these feelings will pass, they must. You needn't be afraid of me. -SH  
Please, don't leave. -SH

 

I know, Sherlock. I trust you with my life. JW  
And my heart. JW

 

I'm glad. -SH  
What do you mean? -SH

 

Haven't you realised it? God, I thought I was being so obvious in the last few months. JW

 

John? -SH

 

I love you, you daft sod. JW  
Bit weird to say that for the first time by texting you in the middle of the alcohol aisle of Tesco. JW  
I know I reacted weirdly earlier, but it was only because I was so shocked. JW

 

You were willing to help me with my romantic troubles when you thought it wasn't you. -SH  
You wanted me to be happy at the cost of your own? -SH

 

That you, the bloody brilliant and beautiful Sherlock Holmes could have feelings for me...I mean, it's unbelievable. JW  
I would do anything, anything in the world, if it meant you being happy. JW

 

I will be honest saying it comes as a bigger shock to me that you could want me. -SH  
I just want you, John. -SH

 

How could anyone not want you, Sherlock? You're everything. JW

 

I'm rude, I'm mean, I don't think about others, I say inappropriate things, I don't have a heart. -SH  
I could go on. -SH

 

And I love every single thing about you. You do have a heart, you're just afraid to show it. JW

 

You are a far better man than I could ever wish to be, John. -SH

 

Don't. You have saved me, Sherlock. You have saved my life by just being in your presence. JW  
You'll never know how alone I was before I met you. JW  
I was meant to meet you. JW

 

And I, you. -SH  
You mean everything to me, John. -SH  
I will be able to tolerate never having a case again with minimal complaining, as long as I have you. -SH  
Before you, all I had was the work, or cocaine. -SH  
I owe you my very life, John Watson. -SH

 

And I you, Sherlock Holmes. JW

 

And I was willing to forgo my own happiness for you. -SH

 

People are looking at me funny. I seem to have a massive smile on my face. JW  
Words cannot explain how I feel hearing-well, reading-those things. JW  
I am not worthy of you. But I will prove my undying love for you every single day. JW

 

You don't need to prove anything, John. -SH  
Just be you. -SH  
However, if we do do this. -SH  
I have to warn you, I will not change. -SH

 

I hope you bloody don't! JW

 

I will be cold, I will ignore you from time to time. I won't notice when you're there, I won't notice when you've gone. -SH

 

I love you in spite of those things, Sherlock. I always want you be yourself. JW

 

I am glad we are in agreement. -SH  
I do, however, crave human contact. -SH  
In sexual ways, or just... casual. -SH  
Well, not human contact. I crave your contact. -SH

 

Same. Like you wouldn't believe. JW  
I am on my way home. Just grabbing some...essentials. JW

 

Nitroglycerin? -SH

 

NO! JW  
And I was accused of being obtuse earlier... JW

 

But it is essential. -SH

 

Not for what I have in mind. JW

 

Oh. -SH

 

Yes, ‘oh’. JW

 

Of course. -SH  
You mean. -SH  
Should I lubricate? -SH

 

What-? No, no that's fine. I think it requires a doctor to do that. JW

 

I do believe I have the perfect doctor for the job. -SH

 

I can think of a few jobs I can do. JW

 

Perhaps I should call him. -SH

 

You do that. I'm sure he's waiting for your call. JW

 

Last I heard, he was in a crowded area. -SH  
My call may not be appreciated. -SH

 

Oh. Right. That might be awkward. JW

 

Precisely. -SH

 

You could always text the bloke. I'm sure he can read. JW

 

I would hope that a doctor could read and write. -SH

 

Have you seen their handwriting? JW  
It's not even words. JW

 

My doctor's handwriting is better than my own. -SH

 

Your handwriting is beautiful. JW  
STUPID CHIP AND PIN MACHINE. JW  
I would rob this place if it would mean getting back to you as quickly as possible. JW

 

Perhaps you should use an actual teller? -SH

 

Massive queue. JW  
And I don't think I'm fit to interact with humans at this moment...JW

 

Nor machinery. -SH

 

Machinery doesn’t have eyes. JW

 

True. –SH  
So you're saying your physical state isn't appropriate for human eyes? -SH

 

Yes. JW  
Except for one person. JW

 

I hope I am that person. -SH

 

No, I meant Anderson. JW  
Of course you, you wonderful sod. JW

 

You're being disgusting again. -SH

 

At least it helped my...situation a bit. JW

 

Pity. -SH

 

Oh don't worry. Soldiers always stand to attention when prompted. JW

 

Is that how it is, Captain? -SH

 

I hope you have the right skills. JW

 

I will try my best to please you, Captain. -SH  
Whatever it takes. -SH

 

Finally. I'm on my way home. I can't wait to see you. To touch you. To hear you. To just be with you. JW

 

I agree. -SH  
I need you, John. -SH

 

Quick question though; have you ever done this before? JW

 

I have had sex before. -SH  
I have not had a successful romantic relationship, however. -SH

 

Was it with a man? JW

 

Yes. -SH

 

How long ago? JW

 

5 years ago. –SH

 

Were you...in love with him? JW

 

No. -SH

 

Just sex? JW

 

It was more of a business transaction. -SH

 

Business transaction?! Wait-JW  
He wasn't a prostitute was he? JW

 

No. if anyone was the prostitute, most would have considered it was me. -SH

 

Oh god, it was for drugs weren’t it? JW

 

Do you want me to lie? -SH

 

I want you to be honest. JW  
I love you regardless. JW

 

It was for drugs. -SH

 

Were you safe? JW

 

Yes. -SH  
I have also been tested, I am clean. -SH  
I know that is your worry. -SH

 

I worry about your safety and health, Sherlock. JW

 

I am healthy. -SH

 

Good.  
I'm 5 minutes away. JW

 

You still want me? –SH

 

I always want you. JW  
For so long, I have wanted you. I have needed you. JW

 

As have I. -SH

 

Your past means nothing to me. It's the right now that I want. JW  
And the future. JW

 

Thank you. -SH  
I have not loved any of my previous sexual partners. -SH  
Even men within which I had been in a semblance of a relationship. -SH

 

Have there been many? JW

 

No. -SH

 

I hope you're not planning for any more either. JW

 

Of course not. -SH

 

I'm nearly there. JW

 

I am hoping to love the next one. -SH

 

You are the only person I have truly loved. JW

 

I thought myself incapable of love until you. –SH

 

I'm home. JW


End file.
